University of Virginia Library

CXVIII. TOBACCO.

Fitz-Noodle
(smoking).
Tobacco is a calm and gentle weed;
No man, when smoking pipe or good cigar,
E'er dreamed of suicide or murderous deed,
Or left the gates of Conscience so ajar,
That hate or frenzy could come roaring in,
To goad the soul to misery and sin.

Fitz-Boodle
(not smoking).
Granted, good friend! tobacco soothes the brain,
It prompts no death; but when the smoke-wreath mounts,
Doth no one plot (perchance not all in vain)
To forge and swindle and to “cook” accounts?
Brother, be wise! I heed the word you spoke,
'Tis fraud, not murder, that is born of smoke!